But seriously folks....

I’ve been a little off-hand in some of my posts, and I just wanted to assure everyone that I know this calling is serious stuff. I did grow up in a serious Catholic Church, Our Mother of Sorrows, so I know about being serious. If that’s not a serious name to be under for all of one’s formative years, I don’t want to know the name of the church that could beat it.

Last week’s Gospel reading was about God’s call to Mary. And during his sermon, Fr. Charlie spoke about how Mary took her call so seriously and without any ducking around it. So many of the people in the Bible who got calls said things like, “Hey, I’m not the guy for this job,” or, “Are you really serious?” in the lingo of their day. Only Mary says that she will do God’s will without so much as a shrug or a look to see if she was the one being spoken to. Sometimes I’ve thought that if a talking bush or cloud or an angel would show up for me, it would make things so much easier. In fact, that is one of the funniest things to me about the Old Testament. One character asks God to perform three tasks to make sure that it’s really God’s voice he’s hearing. It would be akin to me hearing a voice coming through my ceiling and my saying, “Okay, if you’re really God, when I get home from work, I expect the carpet to be vacuumed,” and when I get home, the place is spotless. Then, I say, “Okay, so just to make sure, when I get tomorrow, I want this place to look like about 15 dogs had a shedding party,” and behold, my house is covered in fur the next evening. But then I’m stuck with a mess, so I ask one more time for God to vacuum, and He does. As if the whole voice from above wasn’t enough, I now have a really clean house. How could anyone doubt that voice as God’s?

Anyway, this call is serious partially because we don’t have so many burning bushes, voices from clouds or people with wings sprouting from their shoulders showing up at our doors. I really have to listen, and I need others to listen with me. This isn’t a voice we can all hear when we just light some candles, sit really quietly and stop breathing. This is the same voice that we all ask for when we need something. And we’ve all seen the bumper sticker that reads, “If you’re not hearing an answer to your prayers, the answer might be, ‘No’.” But a call isn’t a yes or no question. There’s no divining rod, Ouija board or Magic 8 Ball to consult.

But this is also magic, in the best sense. It’s mystical, spiritual, and awe-some. And right now it’s Christmas, a season full of those very qualities. People who never pray, never go to church, never think about God, hear bells ringing that ask them to help those who are less fortunate, and they give what they can. People who don’t think of themselves as spiritual have their breath taken away by the beauty of a world awash in sparkling white. People who don’t usually attend worship take time out to go, if only for tradition’s sake, but their hearts might swell with the glory of a baby being born who will save the world. A baby saving the world. A person. Someone who smelled like babies do, who squirmed and gurgled and had those funny crossed eyes babies have. Someone whose mother loved him and rocked him and fed him at her breast. Someone whose father looked down at him and marveled that something so small could be so strong. Someone who would hear stories about men traveling over the country to come see him when he was born, stories about a magical star over his birthplace, just like we hear stories about ourselves as babies, only without strangers showing up with really expensive presents, I’m guessing.

So please, during this time of magic and wonder, fill your heart with a child-like sense of God’s love. Listen for that quiet voice that tells you of that love. Pray that others might hear it too. Pray for me, and know that I’ll be praying for you.

Serving on the Altar

Deacon Debby had suggested that I start serving on the altar to get used to being up there. So about a month ago I asked Fr. Charlie to get me some training and start using me up there. He was thrilled since we haven’t had new people serving at the altar in a long time. He got the two regulars together and went through some training.

The training was pretty basic. We walked through a service and I processed the cross, held it again for the reading of the Gospel, went through the motions of the Eucharist, and processed back out. The most difficult part is serving at the Eucharist. There’s a lot that goes on there.

Just as an aside, what happens at the altar wasn’t a complete mystery to me, but it wasn’t very familiar either. I grew up in the Catholic Church before them time girls were allowed to be altar servers. The phrase “altar server” wasn’t even an option since there were only altar boys. And really, during the Offertory when all the moving around is going on up there, there are a lot of things to distract us folks in the congregation. We’re singing, passing the plate, watching the ushers go by, finding our places in the books, all sorts of things. And I can only focus on what’s close around me. This is why when I started driving at 16 I couldn’t find my way around the city I had spent my whole life in. Sitting in the passenger or back seats, I was looking at stores, mountains, cars, annoying my sister, singing along to the radio. I had to ask my mom how to get to the mall after I got my license. This is why I was a little clueless with the whole Communion dance.

And really, it’s like a square dance when you’re up there, only there’s no caller. You have to know when to be beside the altar and when you need to sit behind it. You need to follow cues to know when to go get the cross, when to put the book on the altar, what to grab next. And the whole serving Communion is a dance all in itself with the priest, two people with chalices and then the people lining up at the altar.

So my first service, I just followed. There was a twist since we had an extra person carrying the brass incense burner. I got to follow him and carry the silver jam jar of incense crystals. (I’m sure there’s a name for the silver jam jar, but I haven’t learned it yet.) And John, the incense guy, hadn’t been on the altar in a long time, so we kept bumping into each other since I was following him and he didn’t always know where to go. But I made it through the readings and the Sign of Peace just fine. Then Fr. Charlie asked me to help with the table, which I wasn’t expecting.

It’s not hard to serve at the table, but there is an order to things which should look serious, reverential and coordinated. I can do serious and reverential for the most part, but I’m so not to the coordinated part. Fr. Charlie kept having to direct me, and I kept forgetting to bow after each transfer. Priest hands me wine carafe, we bow. Priest hands me the host holder (again, I know it has a name), we bow. So Charlie would bow, and then I would hesitate and bow. It probably looked a lot like someone visiting China and being a little awkward with a new cultural handshake. But again, I know not many people out in the audience are paying attention, so I think I’m safe.

Then, I got to pass the chalice. Here’s the list of warnings I got about giving people wine:

· DO NOT let go of the chalice, even if the person holds it to their lips.
· say “The Blood of Christ” before offering the wine for people to drink.
· say “The Body and Blood of Christ” for people who are “Dippers”
· for people who are “Dippers” (the right word is “tincture” I know that one) hold the cup low enough that they can see what they are doing.
· some people want you to dip the host and put it on their tongue
· some people don’t want any wine, in which case they will either cross their arms over their chests, shake their heads, or hiss and cross their eyes (well, maybe not the last part)
· after someone takes a drink, wipe the edge, turn the chalice a ¼ turn, and move to the next person.
· after everyone has finished, do not slug the remains. Put the chalice either back on the Credence table or on the altar depending on which chalice you get. The Altar Guild get first dibs on whatever wine is left.

I think I did okay. I didn’t spill anything, said the right things, didn’t trip over Fr. Charlie as he went back and forth, and no one hissed at me.

Then, we made it through the clean-up and I did okay putting everything back as Fr. Charlie finished up. I processed just fine. I just forgot it was my job to put out the candles on the altar, but it got taken care of.

Since that first time, I’ve been on the altar a couple of more times, even when the Canon to the Ordinary came to visit a couple of weeks ago. And I guess I did well enough that Fr. Charlie is going to put me n a regular rotation and give others a break from serving. It’s wonderful taking part more fully and up-close at the mystery of the Eucharist, and I just have to keep reminding myself that no one “out there” is watching for me to mess up. But I can see them during the sermon from my perch up at the altar. And if anyone falls asleep, I’ll know. So be careful you’re looking attentive out there… I’m in control of the wine….

Update

Sorry I've been away from here! The end of the semester is always hectic with grading, panicking students, end-of-the-semester projects, and getting ready for the upcoming semester.

But exciting things are happening in my discernment process. Fr. Charlie has the discernment group together and we're finding times and days when we can all meet. We'll start in January and meet once a month or so. The first three meetings are trainings with two "shepherds," and then the shepherds leave us to the work, which can go for as little as three months and as long as six-nine months. We'll be working together to make sure I'm on the right path. We might decide that the call is really just to keep doing what I'm doing, to be priest, or to keep going with the deacon thing.

The holidays are coming, and I've got a lot on my plate, but really, it's a feast and a party! And since I always go back for seconds at real buffets, chances are I'll be that with a metaphorical one as well!

Love to you all, and please pray for me and the whole discernment group.